Back to Issue Fifty-Six

The Recession

BY DANIELLE CADENA DEULEN

 

I feel like—he starts, rattling the silverware drawer to lift
a spoon, walk it to his coffee, stir—something’s against me.
He’s said this before. Our backyard grass, the color of
drought, is drowning in a downpour. Our plastic pool
is half-filled with rainwater, dirt, the tiny black flickering
of mosquito larvae. Someone should drain it. It’s been
eleven months of looking. He runs his hands through his
silver hair, shakes his head. The backdoor lock won’t latch.
There’s a crack in our bedroom window that I’m afraid
will splinter come winter, and the credit cards are maxed.
Mama, our children shout from another room, fighting
over a plastic toy we got from a drive-thru restaurant,
interrupting my calculations on how long we have before
foreclosure. I just feel like—his voice breaking—I’m not
worth anything anymore. I flinch when I hear the shatter of
the toy against our wall, then the wail of our youngest
whipping against my mind like a salt-storm. Someone
should keep the peace. Someone should cross the cold
kitchen linoleum to hold my husband. Someone should.

Danielle Cadena Deulen is the author of four books and a chapbook. Her most recent poetry collection, Desire Museum, won a 2024 Lambda Literary Award. Her previous books include Our Emotions Get Carried Away Beyond Us; The Riots, which won the AWP Prize in Creative Nonfiction and the GLCA New Writers Award; and Lovely Asunder, which won the Miller Williams Arkansas Poetry Prize and the Utah Book Award. She has been the recipient of a Wisconsin Institute for Creative Writing fellowship, an Ohio Arts Council Individual Excellence Award, an Oregon Literary Fellowship, and a Pushcart Prize. She lives in Atlanta where she teaches for the graduate creative writing program at Georgia State University. Her author website is danielledeulen.net.

Next (Mikaela Hoover) >

< Previous (Derek Chan)