Back to Issue Fifty-Five

Nursery

BY AIMEE NEZHUKUMATATHIL

In high school, boys hardly ever noticed me, and when they finally did

years later, I could not imagine making a life with them. One called me

the N-word when I was seven. I needed a restraining order for another.

I almost got used to riff-raff. So it still seems a surprise I ever had

the occasion to set up a nursery of my own. When I found out a boy

kicked inside—a bright panic perfumed me and to be honest, never

left. I know almost nothing of boys but their father proved to me

a boy can grow to be a gentle man. If you look around, there Is plenty

of gentle to celebrate: a male Darwin frog keeps a nursery in his own

mouth, the leap of tadpoles is a reverse gobble-drool and what trust—

he won’t even fever for a bite (and he never does!) as they jump

to pondlife and many breakfasts of chewy wings. The male seahorse

carries the dark swell himself in his brood pouch until he throws

a parade ending with a confetti of gallops. Scientists still don’t know

where whale sharks give birth. I wish I could freeze the morning

I came down the stairs and found my two boys still in matching

pajamas, quietly drawing sea creatures. I wish we’d keep some secrets

underwater. Let us never find a nursery of those gentle giants. Let

them swim and grow into schoolbus-sized sharks, without ever

gliding into nets or boats. I wish for unsolved equations and maps

of the ocean always unfinished. I wish it full of unspooled, unfurled

tentacles solving for X where Y means silver-bubbled plankton,

and C means a whole cadre of shrimp scuttling for cover—

an orange scarf vanishing into the coral when you swim too close.

Animals in Fall

BY AIMEE NEZHUKUMATATHIL

A major bird-collision event occurred in Chicago, IL in 2023, killing nearly 1,000 migrating birds, the highest number on record…the birds died after colliding into the McCormick Place during the height of their annual fall migration.

—American Bird Conservancy

News of yet another bird strike

from too many lights, too many panes

of glass. When we work at night

with lights on, we might as well be

a snake thieving yet another blue egg

into its ridiculous mouth. And still—

I love the night for the quiet. I love

the night for the sounds. I love to think

under the sound of birds migrating

above me and just a line of faint pink

just beginning to ink above the trees.

For my children, the days of dress-up

for Halloween are gone. For years

I pinned felt tentacles, stitched feathers

to their hoodies, or made a light-up mask

from papier mâché and cardboard. Today,

the boys drove off to school; one quiet,

one surly over who knows what slight.

So much of what I thought I’d remember

have fluttered away. Each poem is a soft scrap

we tuck and poke into our nests. But why

should all of this make me cry? As soon

as they were able, we taught them how

to swim, undulate, pulse, and fly.

Green Love Poem

BY AIMEE NEZHUKUMATATHIL

Over the years, my feelings for you

are a tweeblaarkanniedood—a plant

that never dies. The leaves just grow

and grow, some lasting older

than catfish, older than cenotes.

When the first tender shoots

of lettuces unfurl, the green grows

fresh, electric in our garden, taste

that good crunch in the first bowl

of salad each year. If you don’t eat

a nectarine outdoors while you squint

in the sun, and a few drops of juice

land on your shirt, can you really say

it’s summer? What if indigo buntings

call out their little thwips and nobody

answers back to their syllables except

the squeak of tomatoes rubbing

together in the bucket of my skirt.

I celebrate you in sunshine,

I celebrate you on my tiptoes—

my whole neck stretched up, up, up

to receive your kiss. I unlock you

with a brass skeleton key for a Victorian

greenhouse no brown people

have strolled or gawked inside before.

But there is your skin. My bottom

lip. My hands greedy to learn how to rake

it all up. How to drink from a very full cup.

Aimee Nezhukumatathil is